under the influence | foamborn's Blog

this journal entry was written while heavily under the influence of vicodin and tramedol, and therefore i must warn you that its not quality writing. its kind of boring and bland and just not very well written :/ my apologies..

today is monday, and im sitting in brads moms kitchen listening to BTBAMs new album and watching brad cook burgers on the skillet. we got here yesterday as planned, although we didnt meet his mom in south bend, instead we met in plymouth and ate at ponderosa.. *sigh* i seriously dislike restaurants, too many people and i hate eating at a table with a bunch of people. i wouldnt mind it too badly i guess if it were just me and brad, or us and some friends maybe *shrugs*.. id still really rather not :/

as soon as we got there brads mom gave us each two tramedol, which made being at a restaurant (buffet, technically) not so unbearable. so that was nice..

but the food was pretty nasty. bleh..

my system was singing with chemicals, it was ecstacy. i floated hither and yon lol.. me and brad also bought a pack of cigarettes the day before, because ive been craving some, and because we knew wed be effed up on tramedol for a few days straight (and cigarettes seem to be extra enjoyable on trams).. so after we got done eating we went to the back of the ponderosa and sat on the sidewalk and smoked like chimneys.

fuck, im picking my lips right now >.< fkjbsvadbvakljvblkbjsfiv! fml.. i cant stop!

oh man, brad just made some tomato soup for his little sister.. i dont even LIKE tomato soup and i think it was AMAZING!! ^o^

(excuse my random train of thought, im on a considerable amout of vicodin (and a bit of tramedol)..but ill get to the vicodin in a moment..) gah! im so itchey!!!

when we got to brads moms house, their miniature dotson was excited to see me. she pees when shes excited.. she jumped up on my leg and i bent down and pet her. she layed down and rolled over onto her back and pissed all over her hind legs lol

brads step dad, terry, made french onion soup that night for dinner, which i find pretty remarkable since hes almost blind. it was pretty good too! it had croutons in it and a huge glob of motzerella cheese melted on top. i also took some more tramedol before dinner.. but after dinner my stomach had a cramp in it, it hurt really bad, and i felt a little nauseous.. i was really out of it and in a sort of apathetic, chemical stupor.. so i layed down and went to sleep

we i got up it was time to go to the optometrist to get my glasses. the last time i got my eyes checked, i think i was a toddler or something.. i was super young. anyways, i had a pretty awful headache and i was kind of nauseous, but i took a couple naproxem sodiums anyways (they made me feel ALOT worse, like i wanted to puke)..

brads mom offered to buy wendys, and she did, but i didnt feel like i could keep anything down.. so i got a sprite. i got some fresh air before the appointment, even though technically we were late. but i still felt pretty awful :( i was even offered some tramedol but didnt want it.

i filled out a short, one page information form. then i pretty black lady in a white doctor coat took me back into a room with two machine things with little ledges to put my chin on. the first one i looked into had a little christmas tree that appeared to be in the distance, and the second one blew a small burst of air into my eyes >.< i was starting to feel a bit less nauseous though.

she then took me to another, darker room (queue the porno music lol jk) and made me read a computer screen with rows of random letters on it that was at the other end of the room. then she asked if it was ok to dialate my pupils (or if i wanted to do it some other time, i guess?) and i said "of course". so she left the room and came back with some eyedrops and put one drop into each eye, told me the effects and the left the room again. a couple minutes later, i heard brad from the other side of the door ask someone "is it ok if i go in there?" and then he walked in and kept me company, gave me my sprite :)

i took a small round mirror out of my purse and held it up to my eye, and i stared into the void that had swallowed my iris. i had a mild flashback of looking into the bathroom mirror at my ex-boyfriends friends house after i had done mushrooms for the first time. i remember being utterly astonished and then keeled over with laughter, tears streaming down my face, squeazing my legs together so i dont piss myself lol.. it was probably the funniest night of my life, litterally everything made me laugh.. i laughed to myself then, sitting there in the optometrists office.

my nausea started to return..

the doctor came in and checked out my eyes, staring into the void (my pupils) through machines and such, made me read charts again, diagnosed me and what-not, then left. once again me and brad got to be alone.. i cherish these moments because we have so little privacy where we live, in the one room apartment. we sat, talking for a while until the pretty black woman came back and told us we can come out and choose which frame id like, and she handed me a thin piece of dark tinted plastic, cut to form the shape of glasses, the type that a blind person might wear. i didnt put them on though, on acount of them looking ridiculous. i decided the sun wasnt that intense..

we looked at frames awhile and i slowly got more nauseous from standing, plus my head was hurting. but i did find a pretty pair of metal rimmed glasses that are black on the outside and green inside, and werent very expensive. im very excited to be getting them!! (i dont have them yet, the lenses still have to be cut)..

a lady came and told me to sit down on a computer chair at this little desk thing and made me wait there.. when she came back, brad had gone to sit down, and to talk to his mom, but abby stayed next to me and talked my ear off a bit (she was very recently prescribed adderol).. when the lady came back she had me sign two papers. then she left again.. i looked over at abby and said "im going to the bathroom" and i ran away to the restroom and puked :s but then i felt a bit better.. when i came back i signed two more papers and then we finally left.

but we had to drive all the way from south bend to niles, and the car ride succeeded in making me nauseous again, so as soon as we got back i puked agin. the sun also succeeded in giving me a migrain.. so i was offered some vicodin (which i took), and i layed down on an air mattress upstairs, another room that me and brad get to be alone together in.. we cuddled and took a short nap.. when i woke up i could feel the vicodin humming in my system, which felt pretty good, i didnt feel sick anymore, but i still had a headache. so brad got me a cold rag to put on my eyes<3

tomorrow me and brad are going back to our home in rochester.. withdrawing from tramedol is a horrible drag..